Always
by shabizzle
Summary: I don’t know that Harry anymore. In fact, I don’t know any Harry anymore. That man you are is not Harry. Do you even know that Harry anymore? Do you ever reach, deep down, Harry, deep down inside yourself, and find the boy you once were? (songfic to S


Songfic to Saliva's song "_Always"_

I do not own any characters in this story, I do, however, own the plot

_I hear a voice say, "Don't be so blind"  
It's telling me all these things  
That you would probably hide _

Don't even try to tell me I was the one. How could I be so stupid. I should have known. I saw you looking at them. I'm not blind, Harry, no, I'm not. And you thought I wouldn't notice that you slept around while you were with me? I could smell it, Harry, I could hear the guilt in your voice.

_  
Am I your one and only desire  
Am I the reason you breathe  
Or am I the reason you cry _

Did you ever think of what we might have been, Harry? If you hadn't been such an ass? If you hadn't played me like a stupid little game of wizard's chess? If I hadn't found out? If you were loyal? I have. I had. It's over. I don't believe it was you. Where was the Harry I used to know?

_  
Always  
Always  
Always  
Always  
Always  
Always  
I just can't live without you  
_

The Harry I used to know left me sweet notes, helped me when I was feeling sad, didn't let people make fun of me, even when they tried. Oh, they tried, but you were always there to protect me, weren't you, Harry. Well, for a little while. Then, you started avoiding me...don't ask me why, at night you were always there, holding my hand, whispering "_I love you"_s in my ear while I was trying to sleep. But during the day, oh, no, you were never around. But why, Harry, why?

_  
I love you  
I hate you  
I can't live around you  
I breathe you  
I taste you  
I can't live without you _

I don't know that Harry anymore. In fact, I don't know any Harry anymore. That man you are is not Harry. Do you even know that Harry anymore? Do you ever reach, deep down, Harry, deep down inside yourself, and find the boy you once were?

_  
I just can't take anymore  
This life of solitude  
I guess that I'm out the door  
And now I'm done with you _

It's over. I'm gone. I hate this life of never knowing when you'll be around, when you'll be there to say hi to me, to talk to me, just to say my name. You can't do that anymore Harry, can you? I dare you to say my name. Better yet, look me in the eyes and say it. I bet you can't do it..._  
  
I feel like you don't want me around  
I guess I'll pack all my things  
I guess I'll see you around  
Inside, it bottles up until now  
As I walk out your door  
All I can hear is the sound of  
Always _

_Always  
Always  
Always  
Always  
Always  
I just can't live without you _

I wish you'd understand me, Harry. Do you understand? Nobody seems to understand. What you've done to my life. It was perfect. Perfect, in every way. And then there was you. I was smitten. You told me you loved me. I believed you. I was a foolish little girl, and you didn't seem to mind that. I thought you loved me for me, but it turns out you didn't love me for me...you didn't love me at all_  
  
I left my head around your heart  
Why would you tear my world apart  
  
Always  
Always  
Always  
Always _

I need you to understand, Harry, that it was you that drove me to this...That while the fingers that fire the pistol will be mine, it was your hand that put my fingers there. It was I who killed me, but in reality, it was you. Will you remember me, Harry, will you? Will you feel any guilt? I am not doing this to make you feel guilty, Harry, I'm not. I'm doing this because I have not reason to live...I have no friends, no family, no money, and worst of all...no you_  
  
I see the blood all over your hands  
Does it make you feel more like a man  
Was it all just a part of your plan  
The pistol's shakin' in my hands  
And all I hear is the sound  
_

I hear, rather than feel, myself hit the floor. I can feel the blood seeping out of my head. My spirit is watching, Harry, as you come into the room ,see me lying on the ground, and call for help. Don't you know that it is you, Harry, that could have saved me, not some healer from St. Mungos?

_  
I love you  
I hate you  
I can't live without you  
I just can't take anymore  
This life of solitude  
I pick myself off the floor  
And now I'm done with you  
Always  
Always_

I jut want to hear you say my name, just once Harry, once. As my spirit drifts away, I can vaguely hear you utter only one, soft sentnece, under your breathe so that it is barely audible

"_Hermione, what have I done?"_

My job is done, and I am gone

_  
Always _


End file.
